Outside the Hub

Stupid New Jersey Giants

2012-02-06T08:08:00.001-08:00

I don't have much to say except that the Giants of East Rutherford make me shake my head. Enjoy it now because the Pats will be back!

Fucking A, man.

AWWWWW!! Mark Sanchez and Santonio Holmes to Spend Valentine's Day Together

2012-02-04T07:27:00.001-08:00

Isn't this SO sweet? In an effort to repair their failing relationship, Holmes has arraigned for a weekend getaway for he and his quarterback to build on their chemistry. Our sources in the field tell us that Santonio wants to win back Mark's heart after some on-the-field troubles.

Rumors swirled all year that the two were having some problems, but it looks like things are starting to warm up again New York! No word on where they will be vacationing to but our mole down in East Rutherford has suggested that Santonio is planning on either hiking in Hollywood or goofing around in Disneyland! Mark has reportedly been swooning over the invite to friends and his coach!

Head coach Rex Ryan said, "The first year they had good chemistry together," Ryan said. "Whatever happened, happened but we'll learn from it. I'm confident because I think we have to be successful, they have to be successful together. I know one thing they are both extremely competitive."

What's old is new again. It looks like these two are on the fast track to truly re-uniting. Let's go get a goddamn snack!

STOLEN: Matt Garza's 2008 ALCS Ring

2012-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

Somebody Stole Matt Garza's 2008 ALCS Ring

In other news...STOLEN:

The Red Sox' fucking 2008 ALCS ring which was pilfered by the those Extra 2% bitches down in Tampa Bay. Those little shits decided it was a great time to play out of their asses and steal the friggen series. BJ Upton and Evan Longoria thought they were Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio reincarnated, and somehow Willy Aybar had an impact in Game 7. Fuck!

And your ring, Matt? It was me who stole the ring. Too bad, Garza. You should have gone on to beat the Phillies that year, but you didn't so piss off. You are not getting the ring back. You fucked the Red Sox and then failed the American League.

In other, other news: The Rays signed Jeff Keppinger, the no-punch, contact-happy infielder. So that means so Joe Maddon will somehow squeeze an extra 2% out of him and he'll pop off 15 HRs and steal 10 bases. Plus hit .330 like he's Casey Kotchman with a tan.

Lastly, does anyone know what the hell this ALCS ring is even supposed to mean? 9=8?
What am I missing? Is that some voodoo math those Sabermetric nerds are doing down there?

All I know is 2004 and 2007 = World Championship here.

FACT: Montreal is Good at Drywall, NOT Good at Hockey

2012-02-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things to dislike about Montreal. The food is gross. They drink terrible Molson beer. (This stuff is piss) They are assholes to Americans. Plus, their hockey team and their fanbase is a huge group of entitled assholes. As in, they think the world revolves around them. [It doesn't... it revolves around the Bruins :)]

But right now is a great time to watch their beloved Habs -- because they STINK.

Shit is a total mess up there in Montreal, for real. They have a head coach who can't speak French, they are currently 14th overall in the Eastern Conference, Mike Cammalleri said they team was a bunch of losers (true, good call Mike), the newspapers up there trash the head coach and they have a friggen AMERICAN as their captain.

An AMERICAN! Brian Gionta (shout out to Boston College!)

See? Everything in Boston rules so hard that even Montreal is taking our homegrown talent and promoting them to captain. When was the last time the Canadiens had a YANK as a captain? It happened once. It was Chris Chelios who was co-captain for like five minutes with Guy Carbonneau in 1989. And what the fuck is that? Co-captains? How cute. Only in Montreal.

Vous êtes mauvais au hockey et vous sentir comme des perdants! Yaaaaaa

Ottawa Senators Decide to Lose to Bruins on Goal From Center Ice

2012-02-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

Oops! How did that get in there?

Well, I guess goalie Craig Anderson might have just let in a fluke goal there, but you have to wonder if it will affect his psyche. He's made 15 straight starts and now has lost his last four. The Sens fans are blaming the referees (big surprise). Ottawa is improved for sure and maybe they calls have been inconsistent, but the real problem is the Senators defense sucks.

They are flat-footed and slow.

Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham Are Going to Get Lit Up

2012-02-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

I really hope one of these two cross the middle of the field so Patrick Chung can fuckin' blast a helmet into their back. There hasn't been much shit-talk coming from either side this week, but I am getting sick of these little pot-shots that Cruz and Manningham keep taking at the Pats secondary.

Cruz and Manningham Ready to Test Pats Secondary

I think we all know by now that the Patriots give up yards. I'm not going to spend all day breaking it down. But every time players run their mouth, make comments publicly and think they have a beat on something -- it backfires.

We might not even see Edelman out there on defense for more than one snap. Who knows? It might be Molden, McCourty, Arrington, Moore, Chung and Ihedigbo all day.

But I will say this, -- Cruz and Manningham both are going to get drilled at some point. Maybe Jules is not Darrelle Revis, but everyone thought they could take advantage of Troy Brown at DB and that backfired also. Also, Manningham has butterfingers so watch how many times he tips a ball up and one of the Pats DBs picks it off.

Cruz might be a ZooMass alumn, but I want to see him and Manningham glazed over on the sidelines -- not sure what just hit them.

Super Bowl XLVI Predictions -- WHAT Are You Going to Say Now Giants Fans??

2012-01-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

DivaLover159 Goes OFF (again)

You skerd?

Peyton Manning Reportedly DONE

2012-01-31T09:25:00.000-08:00

Sounds like Manning might be all done for. That neck injury is not a joke and you can imagine he might jeopardize his ability to move if he were to injur it again violently.

Manning likely will never play football again, sources say

Although the vertebrae in Manning's neck have healed as expected, which allowed him to start throwing again back in December, the same can't be said for the nerves in his arm, according to the sources. They say the velocity on his passes has not improved and possibly never will.

All of which, the sources say, indicates the four-time MVP will probably never play again.

Two league-affiliated doctors with experience in spinal fusion surgery told Cole that it would be too risky for Manning to play again and that it could take as long as a year for Manning to know whether a return is possible.

We never liked Manning, but it will be strange to not see him annually square off with the Patriots and repeatedly give us:

THE MANNING FACE!

Will YOU miss Peyton Manning?

Must Suck to be a Jets Fan Right Now

2012-01-31T05:36:00.000-08:00

Your big-mouthed, fatass, blowhard head coach couldn't be more wrong about every prediction and football decision he's made this year, your team is a mess and your QB situation is a joke. All that aside, you are stuck watching the Patriots play the Giants in the Super Bowl. Nice life.

The Jets have returned to being second-class citizens renting out space at MetLife Stadium just like they have for most of their existence.

Bunch of slapdicks!

The Knicks Are Terrible...Who Cares Who's to Blame? Let Them Suck, It's More Fun...

2012-01-30T20:05:00.000-08:00

Mike D'Antoni has a system and it used to work. That is until the Knicks decided to go out and trade for Carmelo Anthony, a guy who doesn't fit the scheme and suddenly can't hit a layup. Any what's up with Amare Stoudemire? I thought these Knicks were supposed to be problematic?

Anthony is the problem so hopefully he continues to bury the franchise because I hate the fuckin' Knicks and right now they stink worse than Patrick Ewing's armpit so that's just fine with me.

HAHAHA What? Ravens Hire Jim Caldwell...to Coach QBs??

2012-01-30T15:02:00.000-08:00

From one loser to another, Jim Caldwell will now try his hand at coaching Bert from Sesame Street aka Joe Flacco. Why anyone would hire this guy is beyond me. Flacco is going to go to go to Caldwell for help and he's going to get a blank stare. Uhh....I thought the QB ran the team?

I thought for sure that the Ravens would be getting rid of their Shank-o-potomus kicker, Billy Cundiff. But after hearing of this signing to the coaching staff, I think Baltimore can look forward to more dumb-assery.

Also, since we mentioned Sexy Rexy earlier, I just want to say..."TIMEOUT...TIMEOUT!"

NOT in the Superbowl (Again)

2012-01-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

For all the shit-talking the Jets (and their bloated fans) do, this is what it got them:

Also, Rex Ryan is a douche. That is all.

Brandon Marshall Puts Crazy Aside to Rip NFC New Ass

2012-01-30T11:41:00.000-08:00

Brandon Marshall, though mostly crazy managed to score 4 TDs against the NFC in a game he referred to as "his playoffs". That of course being the two-hand touch Pro Bowl.

He also basically shit on the Dolphins for not giving him a QB. Next year, will Marshall have Matt Flynn as his QB? Or will Peyton Manning finish out his career (read: break his neck) in the land where Dan Marino made racking up stats but no noteworthy wins, famous?

Also, the Seahawks defender looks like he's been stabbed the stomach by someone's girlfriend.

Montreal Still Sucks

2012-01-29T14:13:00.000-08:00

And Carey Price swallows